I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize