You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
