He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
