So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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