Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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