On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
