Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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