All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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