so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
