...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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