Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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