you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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