so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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