Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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