this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
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