saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
