he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize