OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
