Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
