My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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