sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
