does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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