I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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