Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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