Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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