it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
