oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
