I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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