the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
