So drunk its hurt
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Randomize
