Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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