Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize