i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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