i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
