There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize