I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
