We're like a lot better than the average bears
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
