I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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