do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
