this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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