You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
