You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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