CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
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