Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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