i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
