I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
