Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
