I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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