You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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