have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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