Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
