Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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