and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
