I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
