That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
should my penis look like a turkey
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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