So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
