haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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