I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
