if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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