Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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