Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
