i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
