Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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