I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
